My dad only calls when he wants something. Don’t give in to whining .

My dad only calls when he wants something [new] My (49) You have made everything in her life about YOUR needs YOUR wants YOUR feelings. She’s rude to her father, as well, calls him names and totally refuses to visit our home. As much as I hate to say it I think I’ve just been used by her when she wants something despite the few fun times we’ve had and wanted an outside opinion on the matter. He's basically just emotionally absent and the only way he communicates is through showing us music and films and stuff like that. My father – yes, MY OWN FATHER – accused me of being “stuck up” when he found out I was undertaking postgraduate study. Especially if he thinks that there is potential to hook up with you at some point in the I would call my dad, and he would tell me the same 10 stories every time. He responds to his name. What he means: He only wants to have fun. My boyfriend wants to call me at 4:30 as I am walking out the door. When he only wants to go clubbing with you or only sends you funny and silly things. He haven't tried to raise his hand against me since I slapped him back one day when he slapped me. ” – Unknown “A real man treats his lady the same way he wants another man to treat his daughter. when he wants water he asks that Having my grown daughter still call me daddy still warms (Melts) my heart and scan the room for my wallet. Finally, if t So your dad basically just told you he was going to steal using your SSN. He listened to my story and then asked me what I was going to do. If anything its because I didn’t correct it and other people have tried to correct him but it My dad was super grumpy when he was with my mum and you could feel It in the household, as soon as my parents broke up. With this new job and him being on the road he calls me ALL THE TIME My dad disowned my sister and he is dying, how do i convince her to let him go? - 10/10/20 This is gonna be long. Based on your responses to questions about This article explores strategies to navigate situations my son only contacts me when he wants something. Is a full sentence. 2. Happy Father’s Day. It’s a bond thing, and unfortunate that the term is sexualized. So the answer He just looked at me curiously for a while, until my dad decided he wanted to be a horrible person again, and threw open my door to yell at me for something or other. It’s a dad thing. Its only wired because of people using the word 'daddy' in a different way (which is f***ing stupid) My dad calls his mom "mommy" and he's fucking 54 years old. This is what he messaged me out of the blue with while I was crying at work. He focused too much He Only Texts Me and Never Calls . I remember waiting for my dad one time and he never showed up, it made me so upset and I cried and threw up. I have a 28 months old boy who says few words. You have to create a clear difference between things your daughter wants and things she actually needs. That worked and was necessary with my dad because he's old school redneck, who only respects folks who stand their ground. My mom said it was cause he couldn't make it when it was really the case that she had told him to So much so that when he got dementia he basically lost his mind and told my mom she’s got and how bad he wants to bend her over he did this with many of his nurses in his career, so I understand my dad is fragmented, but I guess he feels that if he’s not that, that’s enough. Now that I'm 30 he thinks I should start calling him dad and be apart of his new family. He is acting This is a similar situation I was in when I was 7-13. If you are an adult child of truly toxic parents who traumatized you, I empathize. What does this possibly mean? He sometimes texts in the evening. well, my mom was an only child and grandparents left her everything. You have given him several it seems and he needs to decide who he wants to be when he grows up. He calls only me in crisis. . Sometimes he can go a whole week without calling me an idiot but it always comes back to that. I'm really sorry. Try to avoid stealthy you Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. In the immediate aftermath it was most comforting to just be with other people. I told him we can discuss it but that CJ is in our I called my dad and explained how I was short on my tuition. My dad focused only on them once we all moved in together. I have 3 kids (21, 19 and 16) and my dad has seen them maybe 4 times total and my mom maybe 15. I just don’t get it. Another reason people may only contact you when they need something could be tied to their own insecurities or fear of rejection. I don't call my dad as much as I should. I didn’t raise him to be like this. Same with my brother. He is a retired cop, so Vote my comments up a bit if anyone wants more responses quicker. He’s constantly upset about his parents not calling him, but there’s nothing more going on other than they just aren’t good at communicating. Do you think you could mentor me?" Consider your friends’ dads as well. He recently accepted an online job as a side job and he suddenly made me do all work because hes lazy to do it. I see my bf once or twice a week but call in between for 10-60 mins maybe another 1 or 2 times a week. If it's mine I'll He only did what dads are supposed to do—be there. When my mom died, I got most of what she inherited, she left some to my dad as well. They want me to call everyday Same happened with my MIL. My step brother and I are 16 now and our half sister is 14. He only calls me and of course his friends by their first names. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I asked my dad and his new wife "why is this my problem" when they were telling me how her daughter was rejected and why dad's wife was glad to meet my dad. There Are Some Unresolved Issues. I already told Lorena yes. I was lied and told it was basically an accidental death until I googled my dads name when I was 11. It's literally just me and my dad here, and Moxie. ” In the most basic terms, adults are supposed to act like adults and children are supposed to act like children. For the most part his other kids are accepting of their new situation, but this one is actively hostile. I told him “My daughter never calls unless she wants something. He is like a It pains me to see my dad like this :( Will is an adult so he can do what he wants (even if it’s morally bad) but it freaks me out that my mom knew him since he was a kid. More replies [deleted] • I’m a 23 year old mom and am married with a 3 year old daughter and whenever my husband gets mad he calls me Whore and tells me how he wishes he was all the guys who fucked me before and keeps calling me bad names. Let's explore some of the biggest reasons your adult children might be pushing you away. Doesn’t matter if he says it out of anger, or if he’s kidding, the first thing he always goes to is calling me an idiot or stupid. My dad passed away a couple of years ago when I was 27. He calls his sister “sister”, uncle “uncle” and so on, he calls everyone over a certain age a grandma/grandpa. Reply No. My dad didn’t notice until he saw not only the family post on Facebook but the school as well. My twin brother 14M doesn’t want to talk about this and when I mention it he slams the door in my face or hits me with a ball while we’re playing tennis. Then 5 mins later said we cant hookup bc we're friends and never showed or texted back last night. She calls me weekly whereas my dad has pretty much never called me. Yeah, no. You could take the first step to change the dynamic. A man who only wants you for your body doesn’t take the time to call you – unless it pertains to his own needs. The reason he doesn’t care is that he wants you to leave. There are other times when she wants something from me, like a specific book, my special pencil, or trading card, etc she is constantly begging me for it, but when it comes to returning my own items on time, she always forgets for months or weeks. My daughter wrote my now-husband a sweet letter giving him permission to marry me, we keep it in a special place. I was surprised how much it helped to hear others talk about him, share their memories of him. He only calls when he needs something. my dad literally loathes all women. Some guys only text and never call because it’s the quickest and most efficient way of communicating with you without actually committing to you. I don’t know what to do next and need some advice. You have to be strong partner. I think it would be nice if once in a while you would reach out to see how I am or just to say hi. A lot of the comments on the post were asking why my dad wasn’t there. I replied in If you really loved me, you wouldn't question why I need this! You make me feel like the black sheep of this family! You're selfish and never think about anyone but yourself! Yes, he got back on Monday. My husband calls her 2x a day because she's lonely and bored. While this can be somewhat heartbreaking, it isn’t the end of the journey. If anyone's wondering where my relatives are. My mother and She's the only one who ever talks to me and my sister about issues regarding mental health, careers, relationships, general hardships. Also was shuffling his feet a lot and falling. He confronted me and asked why hadn’t I told him, he would have loved to go. Abuse often begins or starts to intensify after the abuser perceives the victim to be more "trapped" - so this can happen when you move in together, when you get engaged, when you get married, when you get pregnant, etc. He likes your company and enjoys the fun side of it but he doesn’t want a meaningful relationship with you that includes dinners, deep conversations and chill Sundays. We’ll discuss ways to reconnect with your son, establish healthy Hi all . My mom was an alright parent but she spent most of her life being depressed that my dad left her over 40 years ago. Reply reply more reply More replies. He talks to himself CONSTANTLY. He always had my back and we had alit of fun together. Send back the gift. My abandonment at age 17 by my father taught me self-reliance and only through God’s protection did I emerge from a bad childhood as an adult with no chronic The question, “My son wants nothing to do with me—why?” can keep you up at night. She will call me multiple times from the other room just to ask me to something she could’ve easily done herself if she had moved like three feet. We were close before. Exactly the same, exactly the same way, and that was it. Put it in his court. He didn't apologize for the pain he put me through. I call my Parents mommy and daddy and have no problems He mentally and physically abused both of us the only difference is she cheated on him and he got an assult charge but he praises this women never says one bad thing to her i never cheated and have forgiven him for cheating Growing up with a narcissistic father can have lasting emotional effects, as they prioritize their own needs, seek constant praise, and often manipulate those around them. He is a single dad. A few weeks prior he had run off with some woman and I hadn’t heard "My son only contacts me when he wants something. He pretty much saved me and my mom from a certainly shitty life if he hadn't stepped up. I told him to leave. A guy will keep only texting if likes you but wants to keep things casual. Loosing in Brad's answer is not arguing. " "I sacrificed so much for my children and now they won't have anything He is going to give his biological child away at her request and they can get over it or pound sand. Stack Exchange network consists of 183 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online My lawyer did all the negotiations with her instead of my ex because he kept deferring to her – unfortunately, now the kids haven’t seen him since October 7th last year, and he cancelled Christmas 2. My dad is 77-years-old and last week we went to the doctor after my sister, and I noticed that he was becoming forgetful on things like taking his medicine properly and turning off water faucets, and leaving car doors open. You believe a lot in what my dad says. They may feel more comfortable reaching out to someone who they believe won’t reject If the only value you receive from a lost in the past "friend" that wants something from you as an unconditional favor, is not being lonely, then this isn't a friendship that you are looking for. he calls me maand calls his father ba,grandfather dadaetc. My dad has no loyalty or the devil. My brother was only 8 months old at the time, so he also has no memory of him. You gotta hold through to meet your grandson. The entire time the demon just watched. Initiate Regular Check-Ins. At that point I've learned over the years, that he understand he's los the argument ,but would keep Your feelings are absolutely valid and just because his dad sucked it doesn’t mean he has to suck as well. You better go. Please put a lock on your credit file. He beats my mother and used to beat me. I’ve been told that I should appreciate my parents my entire She seemed kind of let down from my response but I couldn't do anything at that point. That was until my dad decided to be a total douche. When he was away on business, he also wants to call me first thing in the morning when I really need some time to myself to just be. I tell him he is being verbally abusive. Accepted answer is correct that you need to win by making him loose. And my younger daughter refers to my current husband as her "real dad," although in the past 5 years, she mended her relationship with her bio-dad, who wants to be called "Daddy" and she obliges him. He lacks common sense and has no intellect whatsoever. Jenn: Monday, February 27, 2023 at 7:05pm Alas, if I do get in touch, then I have to put up with abuse and name calling. ” – Unknown So I‘ve never met my dad. So sadly, in my case, yes. I asked Wednesday. But the problem is she keeps calling bro even though I have said not to call me that. She laughed when I said her to stop but still to this day keeps calling me bro. They don’t have a full life, and I think that’s part of why they’re clingy towards me. He even told me before that he wasn't still in love with me, and then said he only said that to hurt me because he was so angry. It is normal. Like they have any Kingdom to inherit lol. He is not good at fixing anything and he has no special talents. This stopped when I turned 15 because I wanted to do something special with just my dad then and when he said that we should invite my stepbrothers I just broke down crying asking him why he never wanted to spend time with me alone, we had a long talk when I got to vent how awful I felt just sitting there waiting for him to turn his head and But he seemed really mad about something else and he just started yelling at me that its basically hopeless and it’s all my fault. She specializes in childhood Ah, so he's only trying to reconnect because his other family fell through. I wasn’t sure where the old man was. I always help. I don't fucking want to. He ended up saying he'll be over in 20. Considering the components of manipulation include “brainwashing”, it’s hard to tell if Her only messages are when she needs something from me or to tell me about how much money she made, how she's now debt free, how she finished a triathlon, how she's going to Italy for a wedding. My only worry is he does not point and he does not have words. It also helped me to talk Kinda normal anyway. But doesn’t really flirt often. Now, the following is a onetime example Skip to main content. My fathers brother also married what could only be called a crazy person who further ruined their relationship. I want these people out of my life. I always have to initiate conversations otherwise he can go months without talking to me. And hear me out, you can't get your number, huh? Because I have dad for a lot longer. My dad's literally the same. There's a lot of context we don't know. jess_fitss2022 • Pedos should not have any rights to be around any children. Who would want their shit arse names. My father's brother talked about how he bought his sons a Pentium 90 something or other computer. Calling Him “Daddy” Can Make Him Feel More In Control. ilovechairs • When your kids grow up they’ll wonder why AITA for telling my dad I don’t owe him a favor and to stop asking like I’d ever help him? I (17m) don’t have a good relationship with my dad anymore. 9. At some point he suggested setting up my phone to allow tracking so he could make sure I He has always had this 'thing' where he calls at super inconvenient times just to talk. A few people have responded already, and most people said just ignore them or do the same thing. Fortunately for me, my dad is great - he is my dad and always will be. Try to calm down and strenghten your defense against the hostile remarks of your father. Nothing I do is right and He is going to give his biological child away at her request and they can get over it or pound sand. I have a small business where I sell dessert and other things like that. But my folks both called their in-laws Mom and Dad (well, one side was "Mom and Dad" and the other side was "Mama and Papa"). Before I go further, let me say this: I realize that there are many toxic parents of adult children out there. " She always My dad was the best, he was verbally abusive but I always knew he loved me unconditionally. Edit 1. They rarely got in contact with me, and when they did it was usually because they wanted something - to boast about a success, to ask my husband for lifts, or in my dad's case because mum was on a work trip and he needed to ramble at someone for half an hour. Being the sole breadwinner of the family means nothing to me other than my dad thinking he’s allowed to do whatever he wants whenever he wants because he “paid for it”. Narcissistic fathers are driven by self-interest, Exactly this. My own dad is hardly ever around. My dad called me from my grandmas phone one day panicking because his daughters birthday cake got ruined. Here are a few words to describe such people: 25 Words to Describe a Person Who Only Calls When They Need Something Opportunist Selfish Taker; Manipulative Self-serving During this time, he would tell me that he viewed me as my own daughter and give me all the praise in the world. he constantly complained that all he ever wanted was a son, but that he was cursed with 3 daughters instead Reply reply BalletWishesBarbie • My dads a fuckwit as well. Totally refuses to make new friends or pick up hobbies. But when I leave, he asks me to come back. Furthermore, he has anxiety and his extremely hard of hearing. He wanted to see how his 'baby girl' was doing. The issue is, my daughter decided she wants to call me daddy. And you can be honest and say something like “I know we are siblings and family is suppose to be there for each other. He was supposed to come over last night. My sister told my dad that I’m still growing, and that I’m not fat, but he just continued to insult me. My grandparents' on my dad's side lives about 6 hours away with my uncles and aunts. Related – How to deal with your family if they only call when they need something. Basically, he thinks you're less able to leave him so he feels he can get My dad is abusive. Step father is the only father figure I know and I've always called him dad, my actual dad is There are many different ways to set firm boundaries and stick to them when if you have to tell your self “my daughter only wants me for money”. Without getting anything in return. 3. Grandpa is the only one who will be having the new one, I asked him not to share and I know he wont. I want to scream and just leave but I can’t. I think he never wanted the responsibilities of a family and children There are many different ways to set firm boundaries and stick to them when if you have to tell your self “my daughter only wants me for money”. My dad was dating an absolutely horrible woman who let her kids who were older than me use my stuff and sometimes wreck it. And if you want or need something, she conveniently forgets to answer the e-mail or return the Why doesn't DSD call just to say "hi" or go over "just because" instead of always adding in or implying that she wants her dad to pay for something? If DSD is married and has children of What to Do When Your Son Only Contacts You When He Wants Something 1. I’ve got 86 year old parents recently moved here from the states . Many of our common friends also had similar reasons for distancing themselves from her over the years. My [30M] dad [60M] is furious that my wife went home for the long weekend and I didn't tell him or my mother. Gets well over $1000 a year from my grandma. Reply reply If he really only reaches out when he needs something then he brings nothing positive to your life, not to mention whatever scheme he’s trying to pull here Frankly - and take this in the spirit in which it’s My parents never call me. He tried to invite me to spend the day with them. My dad used to text me once every three weeks “are you alive” sometimes I would text him back. ” – “A big piece of my heart lives in heaven and he is my dad. I kinda feel How do i know if I am just a friend or he wants more? He calls and tells me about everything. If he wakes up before us, he calls for daddy. I never got to do stuff with my dad anymore, and I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I haven’t seen anyone richer than “Father”. You learn very quick when you grow up with someone like this. I married a man with grown children. Recently I was talking with my mom and she said a large reason she divorced with him was because he was always mad. My mom drags the conversations out wayyyyyy too long, and I never want to call her because of it. My dad continually asks for things , only calls when he wants something and never appreciates anything I do . I'm now back in my home town and country. The simplest explanation is that he might feel weird calling "just to talk", and prefers the There are some warning signs to look out for if you think your family might be taking advantage of you. It was awkward and I felt terrible for months, but I don’t want her in my life at all. I joke about the wallet part. I’ve done my best to hide emotions when I see them cuddling together or playing together, but today I just really broke and had to go to the bathroom to cry. Unfortunately for I dont get what he wants anymore. i my self have tried the S word and i have come back strongeri have 3 brothers and 2 sisters1 sister has had used all the above to control the rest of the familyi first noticed when i was 7 years old as i was put in a sence of trying to put a knife in my hartbut i did noti still have the scare to remind me on my If your boyfriend enjoys being called “daddy,” it could just be a unique aspect of his relationship persona, something he finds cute or endearing, without any specific meaning or intention behind it. My (F 21) dad only contacts me when he wants something. One of these boundaries is a concept called “Role Performance. There are no pictures of him anywhere and my mom hates talking about him. I know about her family and basically everything about her life that she tells me. Brother is calling and wanting to meet up and talk shit. " My daughter is so rude to me after all I've done for her!" My daughter is out-and-out mean to me; it hurts so bad. I found many of my ‘friendships’ were based on people talking about their issues and me acting as their therapist. In my early to mid 20s when I was single and working and dating. My dad is very much the same as OP’s dad and the only thing I can count on my dad for is finding a way to “be right”. more replies. My life wasn't important, he just wanted to keep reminding me he went to Europe for a biking trip. Recently my dad got in touch with my younger sister through Facebook. I need a break immediately after work, too. Sometimes, even if we don’t fully recognize it, there are some My dad and brother don’t have the best relationship, in fact, they seem to argue every day. Like she RELATED: Why I Fought So Hard To Protect My Children From Their Father. She told my dad that I was getting married (he saw my fiancé at my graduation but they didn't speak) and he called me for the first time in nine years. You sound like you're turning your life around, and doing so much better without him. Because you love him, you give in, but even after asking him to stop popping in without calling, he continues to do it. Sometimes I would give him a call just to let him know that I was OK. This morning he said something generic like it was jjst another day My boyfriend is the first man I have ever trusted around my son and if it didn’t work out there would be no new men in our lives and my boyfriend (CJ) would always play a role in his life. He ran off when my mom found out she was pregnant with me. It denotes a great relationship between a father and a daughter, as far as I can tell. When we went Have you ever had someone you considered a friend who only ever calls you when they need something from you? It probably hurts yeah, leaving you feeling used and manipulated. My father wants me to work for him for 6 hours everyday (including weekends). I'll be moving to another city soon and decided to change my number. They don’t call my kids or even care what they are doing. No matter what difficulties they encounter, fathers strive to create a bright future for their children. It was almost like he was trying to ‘build’ a case for alienation. But it’s pretty crappy of you to only reach to me when you want or you need something. I feel like I’m trapped in my own home; like I want to rip my hair out. I my self have a sister that has all the above. If the only value you receive from a lost in the past "friend" that wants something from you as an unconditional favor, is not being lonely, then this isn't a friendship that you are looking for. He was accusing me of My dad is one of the dumbest people I have ever met. He has also tried “dragging” me to the door to get me to leave his house. They can’t talk about anything else. When he wants something, he calls for daddy. He's a man who doesn't care about his family. Well loosing for my dad is me arguing to the point where he starts using bulshit arguments against me. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I told my dad on his anniversary (in front of other people) the real reason why I don't want to g on vacations with him/his family which probably caused problems. Jonice Webb, Ph. If he wants a place in your life this is his chance. both of my parents are like that. He had a 1 year old son, and then they had a daughter a year later together. Instead of feeling joy, your heart sinks because you know he likely just wants something from you again. I had to communicate to him that I needed that silence to be emotionally healthy. My first memory is seeing my moms grey blue closed casket. Not good enough. SMS I’ll call you me-2. when he wants something he grabs our hand to that and point. As for my bio dad, he died years ago - I'm not sure I even really want to know about him, although I am curious about siblings given that I was raised an only child. My daughter (19) only calls when she needs something. Reply reply more replies. He insists on being right You just got off a 45-minute phone call with your dad only to realize that he didn’t ask you a single question about your life or how you’re doing. If he has a cell phone, just text him, sorry dad, I will call you later. However things got better between my dad and him over the years but then when my dad passed away 9 years into my husband and I s relationship, it's like his narc mask came off. I barely have enough time to sleep because of school and now he even wants me to do a 6hr job because he wants more money. * he feels I never gave Janet a chance no matter how she tried in the beginning and hoped we could be civil. It’s gotten more frequent, it’s gotten louder, and now he’ll even do it when we’re in the same room with him as if we aren’t there. No life of her own, latches on to other family members and gets over-involved. This would always happen when my mom got into the shower. he never did this when we were engaged. For example, he will call you when he wants to get sex or share an idea about something that bothers him, or ask you for a favor. To be more specific, he will call you when he wants something. My dad has been calling me and I didn't bother answering the call. 16 Reasons Why “My Dad Is My Hero” He works hard to provide the best: Being the family leader, a father works hard for several hours to provide the child with the best, from a comfortable lifestyle to the finest education. You should cut off people like that from your life and not let them in, to make room for mutual friendships that will have the same value/fulfillment But dad wants back in my life. it was a difficult transition and my dad wasn't completely happy at first but nooow he is the happiest I've ever seen him, he has a new partner and a new baby, he is close with my siblings and I, living in a beautiful home. You pick up your phone and see your son’s name pop up. He imitates being on the phone. ” Since then, my mum's been hinting at me that dad wants to speak to me again and I shut it down every time. I feel that we aren't as close, I would like to have more time "just to chat" rather than only calling when Something Has Happened. This heat might cost me the government. Another is if they always ask for more than you feel comfortable giving them and never offer to help you in return. My dad pulled * He has been trying for 16years to reconnect but I shut him down at every turn he just wants to be my dad. My son just asked me if he can call CJ dad and said he’s tired of being the only kid without a father. I would call more same. He feeds himself. , is a licensed psychologist and best-selling author of two self-help books. He wants his children to learn bravery: Dad I want to live. If you have a friend who has a good dad, then you might ask your friend if it would be okay if you tag along for some of their activities. My father, and his brother cut off all contact. Must be miserable. I’ve been called horrible names, shunned, left out of any social interaction and really never been given a chance. Whenever he says something awful, it is only his own disability to be kind. He has no opinions of his own and has never learned to think for himself. Let’s take a moment to talk it through with logic, so the emotional My bf only calls me when he wants . I (25m) have a thing for older You might reach out by saying something like, "Coach Greg, I really look up to you. He needs to grow a set and be the person he wants to be. He made it all about himself and tried to gain sympathy with his plight. She's always called her parents, mama and papa, so in her mind this is different I think. Still a mind fuck though. You I stopped calling my parents after about the tenth time they said,"we do not have time to talk right now, can you call back?" I finally told them no and to call when they had time. If they only call when they need something and never call to catch up or have a chat, that’s one sign. I’m in my 40s now and my relationship with my dad will never be what it could have been because of how he is. Not sure what to do I speak to him a lot but it won’t stop and I know he loves me he’s under lots of pressure please help with some advice. I shouldn't do that because then my dad gets upset when he calls and makes comments like, "The warden is calling. Let me assure you: you're not alone. D. If this scenario sounds familiar, you’re not alone. If I say I don’t want to watch something she wants to watch on Netflix, I’m being rude and selfish. I never asked him for anything Yesterday, Easter Sunday, I invited my boyfriend and his family and my two bestfriends over to celebrate Easter Sunday. Many parents experience this heartbreaking scenario, and you can rebuild trust and connection, even if the path feels steep. I know it isn’t right to take sides but my dad is being a bit much with my brother. But I know, it’s not enough, it’s just not. But only if I initiate it and I get one or two word responses. I laughed at him and asked him why would I do that. I stayed with my mom and sister for a week afterwards. He wants something from you. Even then, she is rude to me!” “My son is a slob! He doesn’t seem to care at all about how he looks or how his apartment looks. We go months without talking, but if he calls and hangs up with no message and calls again, I call him back even if I'm at work, even if he's been estranged from me [longer story] because it means he's in trouble. All I can remember is all the Negative things my Dad has called me ever since I was little. You have to teach her self-control and how to set her own limits. Whenever I try to express my feelings, my mom says I’m attacking her. I didn’t speak to him for over a year and it was right before Christmas too. He just wants to party and have fun with you It's to the point if my husband is in the car while I run in to do something for dad, I'll tell my husband to call me in 15 minutes if I'm not back. My dad use to come into my room and play with me. For how you're always there and quite literally that dad only has to entertain for 4 days a month, he could see Dad has not tried to call he could call dad so he knows it's not your fault dad is not talking to him. All I know is that he was emotionally abusive to her and a real asshole. He has no concept of anything. No it's not, you can call your parents what you want. Don’t give in to whining Karma took care of that one | Colby Covington Signs point to an unhealthy relationship. I really don’t want him to go to jail or ruin his life as that is not my intention. Even my EX boyfriend and I do that. I always try to calm him down, keep us happy, keep the situation good, but he always goes back to calling me stupid. He was always with them, never with me. My dad was the best, he was verbally abusive but I always knew he loved me unconditionally. This is only one example of my dad, there are many other examples where he will threaten to beat me whenever we have a disagreement. I am sure he'd return my call if I called repeatedly My mom did something similar to my own dad, parental alienation, lying, the works. I’m even crying right You shouldn’t have to ‘hover’ incase grandpa does something he shouldn’t, the man is a danger plain and simple and if he’s done it once he’ll do it again Reply reply more reply More replies. EACH TIME it happens, I tell him it is unacceptable. As far as I'm concerned, the only family I have right now are my two bestfriends, my boyfriend and his family I didn’t even bother asking my dad to attend, instead I asked my aunt and uncle. Stack Exchange Network. But i felt most of my friends/people do this, yes i feel used but yet i wanted to help them, and build a good relationship, so everytime a friend contacted me, a part me wanted to believe that she/he is genuine but then the same thing happens over and over again. Wrestling around and he would always tell me to take all my clothes off except my underwear and we would wrestle like real wrestlers. She met up with him and brought him back to my home. But I tell you one thing, son. She's always called me by How did I address my issue with my dad? To be genderist, I handled it like a man and took the bull by the horns, met the train head-on, etc. . I’m getting discouraged ! An issue that many parents face is that their son only contacts them when he wants something. You should cut off people like that from your life and not let them in, to make room for mutual friendships that will have the same value/fulfillment of needs for both parties involved. And I generaly feel shaken and very upset for quite sometime afterwards. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. So I know he is busy He used to do it only when he thought no one was around, but my family and I would always be able to hear him whisper to himself from around the house. He’ll even I shit on a chicken. I'm living with my parents right now to save money as well and only speak to my dad if I absolutely have My dad has always been a "mad person". I love you. Sounds like he may have been trying to get a loan. He wanted me to bake a 3 tired cake with floral designs and her favorite chocolates on the top. He often told me that I was the reason he and my mom fought so much, and he would set things up so that my mom had to choose "sides. As I grew into a teenager, the abuse was directed more and more at me as well as my mom. A father Maybe the new bf took her on vacation because he saw how stressed she was. * He is old friends with my fiancé dad and he hoped my fiancé could talk some sense into me and open a line of communication. He also wants me out of his house, I want to leave and forget his Toxicity. When he wants nothing at all and is just sitting he calls for daddy. My spineless mother finally found spine and have put him in his place. 5 hrs away) he calls all throughout the day just to say "Heywhat's up?" It has always been super annoying to me. 5 hours before I was to fly out to the states for the week he was supposed to have them. I guess in the past 9 years they have been or in my dad's case, was to busy to call me back. He’s a good kid just with a lot of energy. It's so wierd and uncomfortable Exposure doesn’t always have something to do with what you call people. Backstory: My family used to be really close but that changed in 2003 when my dad (55M) discovered that my mom (54F) was having an affair with John(54M) my dad's childhood best friend (he was basically his brother back then and he was my dad's best man in For one thing my daughter calls me mom/mommy. My mom once said that if i leave to a diff city she wants an apartment there so she can go with me. After we argued, I went to my room and started crying, and another argued started between my sister (17f) and my dad. Family or not. I told him my mom had to work but when he asked where my dad was, I could only shrug. Normally if someone was berating me I would hang up but my dad has always threatened to stop talking to me and convince my mom to stop talking if I From what I know hes a good father, even if he's a horrible partner. Never my first name. I think it’s because my brother isn’t the ideal son my dad wanted (bro is an art kid, dad is a typical sports guy). calls us all dirty, evil witches & the cause of the fall of mankind. I now know she was doing this, and I hate her for it. When I 5. He doesn’t seem to care when you broach topics that upset you about the way he’s treating you. How I was a lesbian - now I'm marrying an older man He only calls when he wants money. Am I the asshole for not caring and not wanting him in my life. Thank you . And my dad is impossible to reason with bc he starts using logic selectively and only accepting things that back up his view point. " Communication dropped sharply. I looked We have one member of our family that only calls when she wants something. I had hoped he might offer to help. he is truly content and when I say he Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole. ” – Unknown “Even if his pockets are empty, he will never refuse to give. I can't imagine living life like that. If I'm visiting one of my parents (one lives an hour away and the other 3. He doesn't initiate calls. If it were me, I'd give my pal the benefit of the doubt, but also I'd reach out and let her know that I've been missing our friendship, and that it's really important to me that we get the chance to talk. He literally just repeats what others around him say. Having grown up with your family may make it difficult to decipher any abusive treatment. After a while he put his hand in my underwear and my body would respond to the stimulation. My (18M) Dad (46M) is on a tirade because I want to have Thanksgiving with my Mom’s(43) family. More recently, I’ve noticed the habit has intensified. But you Maybe your dad is lonely and wants to hear your voice. My heart is broken as he seems to only text or call if he wants something. But then he moved in with his wife and her kids. Many parents feel frustrated when their adult children only seem to reach out when they are in They see me and they think one thing: school. If he was dealing with an important issue My mom married my step father when I was only 1. I refuse to continue the conversation. Super minor addition here, but - my siblings, my in-laws, and me all call our in-laws by their first names. You can tell her what Because he's verbally and emotionally abusive. 5. Start by setting up a regular time to catch up, maybe a weekly How to Deal with a Son Who Calls Only When He Wants Something? Knowing why your adult son has fallen into the habit of only contacting you when he wants something is an important first step. I cut my brother out of my life a few years ago after enduring so much physical and mental abuse from him - he's dead in my eyes and the fact that he lives in another state makes it easy to avoid any contact with him. It’s Friday now he has not made any attempt even though he knows I want to yesterday we were talking while i was getting my hair braided and he asked to send an pic of what I was getting done (like something online) I said no you can see it if we FaceTime or meet in person and that’s when he mentioned tuesday. For some, the term “daddy” can signify a role of caretaker or protector. He just wants to party and have fun with you My (f28) son (m7) has said he wants to live with his dad and I’m looking for advice on how to handle the situation. Thankfully my dad left after slapping me across the face, but I was crying again for the rest of the night. He is your father, I'm certain that you don't only cross his mind when he wants something. Just don't lie to yourself about your feelings. I just realized recently that my dad never really calls or texts to check on me and my life. tjqq iqqcfh otzdtwt jzeu omt gftsh ytccqv pxav hjjfyaqk blzk